Monday, May 2, 2016

Loss of life

With sorrow follows joy. Difficult but achievable. How? By reflecting, pondering, looking beyond what you see, hearing beyond what you hear and feeling beyond what you feel. The fact you lost a loved one to death doesn't change, only your perception. Perception may grow to an overwhelming sense of despair or may be minimized to a healthy, calming memory. 

We are but a small living being in vast amount of space. To not believe this is as small as the area the body takes up. To remind us that life goes on after losing a loved one watch the rolling water of a river pass you by. It is carrying the seen and unseen life forms. Water is the blood of all life forms. Animal, marine, plant, microorganisms, and human. Without water life could not survive. Water helps create and sustain life. Rolling water is the perfect visual metaphor to remind us that life carries on. This is joy.

To put loss of life and the grief that follows in your mind's eye reflect on the river's edge. There are small circular pockets along the sides of the river where the water lies stagnant. Nothing gets in therefore nothing gets out. It swirls round and round.  What is trapped within the jagged walls surrounding stagnant water festers. Organic matter has broken down from its original form and function. It is gone. This is grief.

We all know that life has an expiration date. Death is the means to an end. We have all experienced a death of a loved one. Whether it's human life or a pet's life. The sorrow is painfully felt by those left behind. Loss. The loss of the very companion you loved and spent every day life with is gone. No longer there by your side. No longer there in your home. No longer looking back at you. Feeling despair caused by loss may be so overwhelming you find yourself re-living the death over and again. The sorrow may grow to an unhealthy level you find yourself a prisoner within the confines of your own mind. Hence, stagnant water. 
Questioning begins. “Why?” “Was there something else I could have done?” Then guilt. “I never should have raised my voice.” “what else could I have done."  We must remind ourselves death is the final chapter of life. It will happen.
Once all medical efforts have been exhausted and the efforts to maintain quality life and treatments are no longer effective, we can unequivocally say we have done our best. Mother Nature is taking over. 
We ask GOD to provide the strength needed to overcome the sorrow that torments us every day and invades our mind during our sleep. The sorrow is so powerful that daily life is just something to do just because. Nothing seems to be important. Nothing seems to matter. Life has become mundane, robotic and existence meaningless.

Personally I believe the question for GOD is to bless us to accept death in the same way we accept life. We must forgive ourselves so we can move on. We love the departed so much and feel strongly connected to them that it seems impossible for their life to be gone. It is through prayer, awareness and understanding the impossible is possible. Life is a delicate balance between holding on and letting go. This revelation will allow joy to cut through sorrow.

Make a valiant effort not to look at what's wrong in your life but to thank GOD for what's right in your life. Stay positive, move forward and always be grateful you were able to spend your life with who love for as long as GOD has allowed.

My Boy


June 27, 2002

December 9, 2015